March 19, 2020
The last few weeks have been surreal. The world has basically stopped. Schools, churches, restaurants, businesses, and events have all been closed or cancelled. The term "social distancing" is on everyone's lips. No one had even heard of this term a few weeks ago. The COVID-19 pandemic has brought everything to a grinding halt. It even cancelled St. Patrick’s Day. I even spent some time this week trying to reschedule a funeral, something that was entirely new for me.
The most pressing touchpoint for me has been the closure of churches and the cancellation of weddings. I have spent many hours helping brides decide on moving dates or opting for a smaller wedding (under 10 people). No one was prepared for this, so it is new ground for everyone. Weddings were coming up in the next few weeks, and these couples were in the home stretch. Now they are just being stretched.
If you are a bride wondering about your upcoming wedding, call us directly. We will help you navigate all the frustrations and the possibilities.
But whether you are engaged or married, we all have something in common during this season. In the states of Ohio and Pennsylvania, where we operate primarily, we are under mandated closings and restricted to gatherings of less than 10 people. It is a simple recommendation: stay home.
Couples and families, without preparation, now have a lot of family/ relationship time on their hands. The internet has two joking thoughts or ideas about the cultural impact. One thought is that we will have a baby boom. Nine months from now, around December 2020/ January 2021, there's going to be a boom in little ones coming into the world. When these babies turn 13 in 2033/2034, they will be known as the quaran-teens!
The other darker thought is that some divorce attorneys predict another boom, a divorce boom. The idea is that spending too much time together without the escapes of work, sports, or games, and a busy schedule, can lead many couples to not enjoy the time spent together. What they have been pondering gets sped up. I hope this is not the case.
We should always be working on our relationships. One of the most common excuses I hear from couples, especially engaged couples, is about time. I am an advocate for date nights and constantly doing the work of relationship building. The response I often hear is, “We would love to, but we are so busy…” Well, now you have the time. We all suddenly have lots of time on our hands.
Make good use of the time you have been given.
Back in 2016, I spent a week in the hospital. I got a rare and severe infection in my stomach, which caused me intense pain and discomfort, and I spent seven days in a hospital bed. A few weeks earlier, our church was helping a flooded section in town. The thought was that in the process of supporting recovery efforts, I caught something. For a guy in his early 40s, this was a whole new thing. As each day passed, I struggled with this event coming into my life. I did not expect it or plan for it. I spent the first part of each morning in the hospital trying to cancel all the things I had planned for that day. It was a clear message to me that I was stretched too thin. I resolved to make some adjustments to my life and schedule. I was just too busy.
During my time in the hospital, I spent a lot of time reflecting on Psalms 23. This favorite shepherd’s song begins, “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” Other versions say, “I lack nothing.” We like the idea of the Lord being a shepherd and providing us with everything we need. We are protected, safe, and worry about nothing we need. What a great concept. This scripture became a source of comfort and strength for me during this challenging time, reminding me of God’s provision and care even amid uncertainty.
He Makes Us Lie Down?
But then the Psalm continues, “He makes me lie down in green pastures.” He MAKES us lie down. He doesn’t ask, or suggest, or recommend. He makes us lie down. In 2016, I was made to lie down. My schedule was too much, and I couldn’t handle it. While we appreciate the concept of God taking care of us and providing for us, we simultaneously find it unsettling that the same God can make us pause. If you are a parent who has ever had to make a small child take a nap, you know how this works. You know they are cranky, tired, and out of sorts. Despite their objections, you make them lie down. It’s for their good. And in that moment, they feel your love and care, just as we feel God's love and care in His divine control.
This may be a 23rd Psalm season. Maybe we are being made to lie down. The world may be long overdue for a nap. This may be the season to work on some of the things in your relationships that you have been putting off. Use this time to rest, recharge, and do some of the things you have been putting off. By doing so, you'll not only improve your relationships but also your mental and emotional well-being. Take this season to reconnect with your partner and family. What else do you have to do?
1. While date nights on the town might not be an option, be creative in your present circumstances. Have a date night at home. We have a few blog posts that can help with Valentine Date Ideas, Date Challenge, and Go on a Date.
2. Read a relationship book together. For a list of our favorites, click here: Resource Page.
3. Talk. Use the "3 T’s" model we suggested in another post.
Make the best of this down season; your schedule will ramp back up soon enough. I hope to hear stories from couples in a few months about how valuable this season was. Maybe even thankful for it. The following line in the 23rd Psalm has an interesting phrase, “He leads me beside still waters, He restores my soul.” We all need things to calm down and allow our souls to be recharged.
Be safe and wash your hands.
Main Image: Photo by cottonbro studio
Thumbnail Image: Photo by cottonbro studio