Help, My Wedding is in Trouble

April 6, 2020

Help, My Wedding is in Trouble!

It has been a crazy few weeks. For many of us, we are just coming up for air to assess the damage. For our team at, we have had to cancel or reschedule about a dozen weddings so far. And I am sure we are not done yet. Looking at the message boards and social media posts, everyone in the wedding world is scrambling.

There are new realities. Some couples are cancelling. Some people are rescheduling. Some are rescheduling but wondering if the original plan of 150 people in attendance will shrink to 70 or 80 regardless of when you have it, so it affects prices, menus, deposits… all of it.  From those who you wished would be there, some will simply send wishes and cards for the rest of the season regardless of when it happens.

So first and foremost, here are some of my immediate thoughts.

-Work with your venue first. That is the biggest piece of your plan or preplanning. Start with the venue and work your way down the line. While every vendor including myself considers themselves crucial, I recognize the line of priority.

-Call your other vendors as soon as you have a new date or possibilities. If you are a bride, it will feel like you are doing this all over. I know, it stinks. But the good news is, you just did this a few months ago, so you know what to do in this new round of calls.

-You are not alone. Every vendor is going through this, so we are ready for the scramble. On our end, we are trying to be creative and figure things out as well. Everyone is thinking about your problem, trust me.


Some suggestions…

-Maybe Elope. There was a time in this country when elopement was very popular. At some point in your engagement process, (not in the last month hopefully), you threw your hands up and said, “Why didn’t we just elope?” Well, why don’t you?

-Consider splitting up the event. Maybe have the ceremony now with less than 10 people and plan a big party later. On the 3rd weekend of March, I did two of these ceremonies. One on Saturday, the other on Sunday. Each ceremony had just the couple and their immediate families, each less than 10 people. While I love the big ceremony, the big party…there was something beautiful about the intimate ceremony.

-Small now, big later. Along those same lines, one of the couples I performed the ceremony for is planning on having a larger ceremony in the summer. Maybe consider this. Do the small one on your date and go bigger later. Note this varies by different states. Some states are just doing the no event over 10 people, some communities are under a stricter stay at home situation.

- Just do the legal stuff now. If the date is important or you already have your license in hand, we can figure out a way to simply sign your license and do something with just the officiant and the couple.

-Get Creative. Yes, the spring wedding in the big venue is poof… So go off the grid. I have seen dozens of couples who held their ceremonies in the middle of the street and people stay in their cars. Do something like that.  I get it, its not your vision, but it will certainly be a cool story 20 years from now.

-Consider a Thursday, Sunday or Monday. The scenario our group is dealing with is this... couple is scheduled in April; they want to move their date. They begin looking at the Fall and realizing that all the Fridays and Saturdays in September and October are already taken. Then we are considering a whole year of delay. Maybe pick another day. Trust me, if you propose a Thursday wedding to your venue and vendors, they will probably welcome you with open arms.  If your invite list is going to shrink anyways, do a quick survey of Family and Friends to see if a Thursday (or a Sunday or Monday) in September or October would work.

For us as a group of officiants, we are here to work with you whatever your needs are. If you are not currently one of our clients, and one of these suggestions sounds appealing, let us know and we can certainly figure out something.

God Bless and Wash Your Hands!!

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