November 4, 2019
Whether you have an Android or Apple smartphone, there is something you should do often, but it is easy to forget. Close the Apps.
I have an iPhone. Occasionally, I will notice the battery draining faster than it should. And I will hold down the button to reveal all the apps that are currently open. And often I will see that everything is open! Well, maybe not everything, but lots of apps are open and I will begin swiping them to close. And as I go through them, I quickly realize or remember that it has been days (or weeks) since I used that app. But regardless, the App I opened in the past is affecting my present. It’s draining my battery.
Often when I am in a counseling situation, I will hear someone talk about something they are struggling with. When we are trying to get to the root of things, there will be moments from the past that will come up in conversation. Recently I had someone in my office say, “That doesn’t matter anymore, I’m over it, it’s in the past.” My response was, “Is it? Have you closed all the apps?” What I was asking is this; have you closed down the feelings, emotions and thoughts from the past? Has this completely found closure in your head and heart. Our past affects our present and it will affect our future as well. Closing the Apps is crucial.
When couples are working through issues, it is incredibly important to close the apps. Meaning that when you are discussing issues, make sure the apps that were open yesterday, last week, or even farther back are closed. If not, we can begin stacking unrelated issues in conversation or jumping tracks to other topics. The deception of conflict is the idea that everything is relevant all thetime. When a couple gets into a heated discussion, this is not the time to discuss everything, just the one thing. The App that is open.
The App that you are in is the one that needs your attention. Focus on that one and close the other ones for a more productive conversation or conflict resolution.