February 1, 2020
Have you been to an unplugged ceremony? Unplugged weddings are when all attending guests and family are asked to turn off their phones, cameras, iPads, and any other electronic devices that may cause a distraction during the ceremony or reception.
With our daily lives becoming increasingly distracted by electronic addiction, unplugged weddings are growing in popularity. Our days consist of scrolling through Instagram, posting a status update, responding to emails, or checking text messages. You may be an engaged couple weighing the option of an unplugged wedding. Over the last few weeks, we discussed the concept of unplugged weddings with four women. Two of the four women got married in the last couple of years, and two are planning their weddings in 2020. Their perspectives offer some clarity in deciding if the unplugged wedding is the right choice for you!
Bride #1 had a local wedding with about 150 guests. She did not mind if guests took pictures. She felt most guests were respectful of photographers and would not intentionally be in their way. Afterwards, she was glad that guests took lots of pictures because one of her favorite photos came from someone’s iPhone!
Bride #2 had a destination wedding with 50 guests. She decided against an unplugged wedding as all her closest family and friends were there, so she didn’t mind. While there were no negatives, she wished she had more guests take spontaneous shots throughout the weekend that the photographer might have missed.
Bride #3 is planning a local wedding with 150 guests. She is debating the idea of an unplugged wedding. One concern is that a guest taking a photo may block a shot the photographer is trying to make, along with the fears of possible distractions during the ceremony. She loves the idea of getting photos from guests before the professional pictures come back, and it means a lot to her grandma and other family members to be able to share a photo right away on social media.
Bride #4 is planning a local wedding with 250 guests. She has decided on an unplugged wedding because she wants the photographer to be the first and only one to capture the ceremony's photos. She also wants to minimize distractions that could occur during their church ceremony.
-Be Present. The guests who don’t have phones in their hands actually get to watch you and focus on being present at the event.
Privacy matters. Why should a couple object to their photo being shared on social media? Why should guests or family members object to their image being posted online? Why should anyone object to pictures of the flower girls or ring bearers? While it's not always top of mind, privacy and respect are crucial.
Photobombing is a genuine concern. As mentioned earlier, guests with phones can sometimes disrupt the photographer’s work. Imagine the first kiss photo, with an iPhone in the corner of the picture.
-No pictures for weeks! Most photographers, regardless of their speed, will still have a turnaround time. We aren’t trained to wait for pictures. I remember when digital cameras first began to have small screens on the back of the cameras. Every photographer, whether professional or amateur, started taking pictures and then would look down at the small digital pic on the screen after every shot! And that habit quickly transferred to our phones. Rarely do we take pictures and then not look at them right away. Having an unplugged wedding means you'll have no images for days or weeks after the wedding.
-Not everyone lives digital. Once you receive the photographer's photos, it’s up to the couple to distribute them to their family. And for older guests who don’t do the online thing, they can be left out.
-You don’t need a photo booth. Sorry to venues or photographers that offer this for an upcharge. You could still have the table of photo and costume props and just let people do what they normally do. Take selfies.
-Embrace it. Put out hashtags and sharing options so that you can get all of those shots back to you.
It is hard to control what your guests do.
Whichever way you go, remember, it's natural to feel a bit anxious about controlling what your guests do. But the truth is, it's not entirely in your hands!. Even if you have a sign and ask your minister to mention it before the ceremony, don’t get consumed with trying to control the actions of your guests. Human nature is simple; rules are important, and they apply to others, not me. Your guests on your wedding day are excited to be a part of your big day, and that should be flattering instead of frustrating. Do what you can to create the atmosphere you desire, but get lost in the moment of your big day; it will be captured perfectly by your photographers and maybe by guests.
Blog Post co-written with my daughter, Elizabeth Squirek. Check out her blog at somethingtoowineabout.wordpress.com
Main Image: Photo by Pavel Danilyuk