October 25, 2019
There are two goals in the race to your wedding day. The first goal is to prepare for the ceremony. The second and more important goal is to prepare for marriage. These are not the same. And truthfully, you need to win at both.
The Wedding Day is unlike any other day. There is energy and excitement. It is a joy to step into the lives of a couple at their happiest moment. But wedding day aside, I enjoy talking with couples about their relationship, all the days before and after. There is always a fascinating journey (sometimes a broken road as well) that leads the couple together. While every aisle is paved with obstacles, every love story becomes beautiful when a couple works together to overcome those obstacles.
Every Aisle is Paved With Obstacles!
But there is a harsh reality to the wedding day. It is the day after! Once the wedding is over, there is a coming down off the mountain. And that "cool down" process means returning to work and getting on with this new chapter. Couples cannot maintain the "high" of the wedding day indefinitely. The premarital counseling process ensures that the days, months, and years that follow are fruitful and meaningful.
The "high" of wedding day cannot be maintained indefinitely.
Sometimes, couples whisper (or shout) on their wedding day, “We did it!” And there is a real sense of crossing the finish line on wedding day. Coordinating this massive event is no small feat; every year, it seems like weddings get bigger and crazier. While I may not say it on the wedding day, I want to pull the couple aside and remind them that this isn’t the finish line. The clap of the starter pistol has just shocked you from the running blocks. The race has just begun.
The race has just begun
I have used several counseling tools in my work with couples, but the SYMBIS assessment is our "premium" tool. SYMBIS stands for Saving Your Marriage Before It Starts, and even the title speaks powerfully. We are not just hoping or wishing; we are actively saving, even before it begins.
I heard a story once about a kayaking instructor. To learn kayaking, he had to teach students how to handle certain situations if they were in distress; if the boat flipped over, or if the worst came to worst, they had to be rescued. The instructor would say, "Participate in your own rescue." Wise words on the water and wise words for couples. Participating in or planning for your rescue ensures that your marriage does not capsize. SYMBIS helps you be the rescuer, the lifeguard of your marriage, even before it is in trouble.
You can build your marriage on more than a hope and a prayer. The SYMBIS and SYMBIS+ Assessments provide you with a personalized roadmap to making your marriage everything it was meant to be.
SYMBIS is an assessment developed by Les and Leslie Parrott. It is a comprehensive marriage preparation program. SYMBIS covers everything: finances, personalities, conflict styles, communication preferences, and your love life. SYMBIS examines the motivations behind your relationship and explores your mindsets and motivations for marriage.
The process leads a couple through answering some of the most profound questions about what they really want in their relationship. These conversations help couples dive deep and develop a soul-to-soul connection.
For WeddingChaplain.com wedding couples, first and foremost, we do not require you to take the SYMBIS assessment. It is optional. But we strongly recommend it. If our couples want to take the SYMBIS assessment and have us facilitate the conversation and process, the cost is an additional $150, which covers the cost of the assessment tool as well. We simply incorporate SYMBIS into our premarital counseling process. If you would like to explore SYMBIS, please contact us now. Typically, SYMBIS would involve three to four additional meetings beyond the two meetings we usually conduct with our engaged couples.
We would be more than happy to take you through the SYMBIS assessment as a married couple. Many couples got engaged and got too focused on the ceremony. They get a few years into a marriage and realize they may need some work. In the course of answering the assessment questions, once SYMBIS determines that you are married, the experience customizes to your specific situation. Whether you are newlyweds or have been together for twenty years, it can be an incredible reboot for your relationship. For married couples, the cost is $300, which covers the meetings and the assessment tool. Most couples can complete the process in three or four sessions.
We frequently encounter this. Perhaps you already have a pastor who will be conducting your ceremony. Or maybe a friend or family member is performing the ceremony, and you genuinely don't want them to conduct your counseling or are not qualified to do so. For these couples, the cost is $300, which covers the meetings and the assessment tool. Again, most couples can complete the process in 3 to 4 meetings.
No worries. We can hold meetings over the phone or on Zoom. If we officiated your wedding years ago, we would love to walk you through SYMBIS.
We send you an email invitation to the assessment. Once both partners finish taking the online questionnaire, SYMBIS will send the report to your facilitator. The report is then delivered to the couple, and we schedule our first meeting. If you would like to get started with SYMBIS, click on the Facilitator Badge below or send us an email at david@weddingchaplain.com
