November 4, 2019
Whether you have an Android or an iPhone, there's something you should do frequently, but it's easy to forget. Close the Apps.
I have an iPhone. Occasionally, I will notice the battery draining faster than it should. And I will hold down the button to reveal all the apps that are currently open. And often I will see that everything is open! Well, not everything, but many apps are open, and I will begin swiping them to close. As I go through them, I quickly realize that it has been days (or weeks) since I last used that app. But regardless, the App I opened in the past is affecting my present. It’s draining my battery.
Often, when I am in a counseling situation, I hear someone discuss something they are struggling with. When we try to get to the root of things, past moments will inevitably come up in conversation. Recently, I had someone in my office say, “That doesn’t matter anymore, I’m over it, it’s in the past.” My response was, “Is it? Have you closed all the apps?” What I was asking is this: “Have you closed down the feelings, emotions, and thoughts from the past?” Has this issue finally found closure in your mind and heart? Our past affects our present, and it will also impact our future. Closing the Apps is crucial.
Our past affects our present, and it will affect our future as well.
When couples are working through issues, it is critical to close the apps. Meaning that when discussing issues, ensure the apps that were open yesterday, last week, or even further back are closed. If not, we can begin stacking unrelated issues in conversation or jumping tracks to other topics. The deception of conflict is the idea that everything is relevant at all times. When a couple gets into a heated discussion, this is not the time to discuss everything; just focus on one thing. Focus on the open App.
The App that you are in is the one that needs your attention. Focus on that one and close the other ones for a more productive conversation or conflict resolution.
Main Image: Photo by Kilian M